The Kumagawa Collections
by Leo Septem
Summary: A collection of short stories starring Kumagawa. Made because I want to write a crossover fanfic with Kumagawa sometime in the future, but I'm not sure with which anime/manga to crossover with. This is basically just a series of rough draft one shots to help me decide.
1. Chapter 1 - Kumagawa and Ryouzanpaku

_Author's notes:_

_Alright, so this is basically just a series of one-shot short stories in their rough draft form that I'm writing because I want to write about Kumagawa, probably one of my favorite characters from manga. I plan to write a crossover fanfic with him sometime in the future, so this is kind of like practice and to decide what anime/manga I want to do a crossover with. This won't be updated at any regular intervals and will be updated as I come up with ideas and have the time and desire to write them. I can't promise that the stories themselves will have a good and satisfactory ending either. The story chapters themselves will most likely have no relation to each other either. Finally, for the most part, I'm probably going to be using the Kumogawa before he transfer to Hakoniwa and meets Medaka and co. again. But that's not a guarantee. With that said, I hope you guys enjoy._

**-STORY START-  
**

"Ha!" Kenichi shouted as he launched a forward kick towards his opponent, a girl dressed in a skin tight purple leotard covered by a 'dogi,' a martial arts uniform.

The girl moved with the grace of a feather floating in the wind and with the sharpness of a finely honed katana as she almost casually jumped over the kick and Kenichi's body, landing on the other side and delivering two fast, low, stomping kicks to the back of Kenichi's knees, easily robbing him of his balance and causing him to topple backwards. Before he even touched the ground, Kenichi found a fist stopped just short of his face.

"I give up, Miu," Kenichi said with a grin, though he couldn't keep the entirety of the frustration he felt over his loss out of his tone. This was one of the countless number of spars he had with the girl he loved ever since he joined Ryouzanpaku, the dojo with the strongest martial arts masters that subscribed to to the doctrine of Katsujinken, the Life-Saving Fist, a belief system whose main tenet was to never take a human life.

The girl smiled as she held out a hand to Kenichi. He took it as she pulled him up with some effort. Kenichi knew how his masters' training, Akisame in particular, had made his body far heavier than it appeared.

"It was a good spar, Kenichi-san," Miu said.

"Yeah! This time it took Miu a whole five minutes!" an incredibly large, thuggish looking, and clearly drunk man called out from where he was watching. This man was Kenichi's karate master, the self-proclaimed 100th dan, Sasaki Shio.

Beside him were five other people: A short man wearing traditional green Chinese clothes, master of all Chinese martial arts, and pervert without equal, Ma Kensei. A very sexy, young woman whose age was a mystery and wielded a katana at her back and an innumerable amount of weapons beneath her short kimono as the prodigy in all weaponry, Kousaka Shigure. A large Thai man who was known as the Death God of Underground Muay Thai (and also bore the august distinction of having killed Kenichi once before in training), Apachai Hopachai. The fourth was Kouetsuji Akisame, the aforementioned master who was also a master in his own style of jiujitsu, as well as numerous other non-martial arts related subjects, such as tea ceremony, painting, music, sculpture, engineering, medicine, philosophy, acting, etc. etc. and several more etc.'s.

Finally, Furinji Hayato. Known in the dojo simply as the elder, but known worldwide as the Invincible Superman, he was a martial arts master without equal and also the grandfather of Furinji Miu. On occasions, he would teach Kenichi in preparation for upcoming battles with Yomi, the organization of the disciples of Yami, the strongest group of masters who subscribed to the Satsujinken, the Killing Fist.

"Now, now, Sasaki-kun," Hayato said genially. "Kenichi is showing much improvement."

"It's... true," Shigure said softly. "For not having... any talent, he is... doing well."

"Still," Akisame said thoughtfully, "he should have lasted at least ten minutes. That means we'll have to double, no, triple Kenichi-kun's current training."

Kenichi sighed mournfully upon hearing his masters' words. He knew he had no talent for the martial arts, it being something his masters had impressed upon him long ago, but it still stung a little to hear it said vocally. At the same time, however, Kenichi shuddered fearfully. The current training schedule he went through was enough to be considered torture in even the most despotic and corrupt of countries. It would be enough to count as war crimes. To triple that amount was not something that could be summed up by mere words such as 'insanity' or 'lunacy.' Still, to fight on the level of the genuinely gifted martial artists of Yomi, this much at least was necessary.

"[Excuse me? Is anybody home? Ah, geez, why is this door so heavy?]"

Everyone looked towards the direction of Ryouzanpaku's gates, large and incredibly heavy things that no normal person could even budge, thus eliminating the need for an actual lock to guard against thieves, not that thieves would have any luck robbing Ryouzanpaku. It was safer than even the most well guarded safe in the world. Still, to receive visitors was very rare, especially from someone who sounded like a stranger. As such, everyone stood up to go receive the visitor.

Standing behind the gates as it opened was a person neither Kenichi nor Miu nor anyone else expected to find, not because they knew the person in particular, but because he was a lean, lanky teen probably around Kenichi and Miu's age and who, quite frankly, looked very, very weak. Weaker than even Kenichi had before he begun learning martial arts at Ryouzanpaku. Yet, despite that, Kenichi found his internal danger alarm screaming, warning him that this boy was dangerous. But why?

"Hello. For what reason have you come to our dojo, young one?" Hayato asked curiously.

"[Is this place Ryouzanpaku?]" the mysterious boy, who had black hair and wore an all black school uniform, asked. For some reason, the way he spoke sounded almost detached. As if the words he spoke were merely a mask, just like the eerie smile he had plastered all over his face. "[The dojo where the ones known as the strongest martial artists live?]"

"While we don't necessarily consider ourselves the strongest," Hayato said slowly, "it is true that that is what many others have called us. And it is true that we live here."

"Grandfather," Miu said as she looked up at the elder. "How about we all go in for some tea instead of standing around here?" She turned to look at the mysterious boy and said kindly, "Please, come in."

Suddenly, and completely randomly, however, the boy began crying like a faucet. Everyone present found themselves surprised at such a reaction.

"[Sorry,]" the boy said as he wiped his tears. "[It's just that this is the first time I've been invited inside a home by a girl. I'm so moved!]"

Kenichi and Miu both shared a look of confusion and a measure of pity for the poor boy's admission. For Miu, it was due to her natural kindness for others. For Kenichi, it was because he sympathized with him, unconsciously portraying his own past onto the boy, despite the fact that his internal danger alarms, which had always served him well in the past, were practically breaking themselves as they screamed at him to run away.

The masters, too, were looking at each other in confusion, no doubt having gone through a similar silent conversation. Still, they led the boy into the dojo and everyone soon found themselves sitting in the main hall of the dojo, quietly sipping the tea that Miu was serving.

"What is your name?" Akisame was the first to break the silence.

"[I'm Kumagawa Misogi,]" the boy said cheerfully, as if his recent sob fest had been a complete lie.

"I can see from your uniform that you're from Suisou Academy," Akisame noted. "Tell me, why have you come from so far away to come to Ryouzanpaku specifically? Are you perhaps here to train?"

Kenichi perked slightly upon hearing the name of the school. It was one of the foremost prestigious schools in the entire nation, and had recently been closed due to an undisclosed incident. Why was someone from such a famous school here?

"[Oooh, loincloth,]" Kumagawa said, completely disregarding Akisame as he lay nearly completely on his side, peering up Shigure's short kimono. "[That's nice, sexy lady!]"

Kenichi slapped his face with his palm. He had always known that Shigure had a strange tendency to wear clothes that did very little to actually cover up her lower parts when she sat or moved at a certain angle. This was compounded by the fact that beneath her kimono, Shigure always only wore a chainmail vest and a loincloth. And he also knew that his other master, Kensei, also had similar perverted instincts, so it did not surprise him in the least when Kensei immediately assumed a similar position as to Kumagawa and began peering at Shigure's loincloth as well.

Shigure's eyes narrowed as she drew her sword and sliced downward towards Kensei and Kumagawa at the same time in a flash. Kensei immediately dodged, but Kumagawa's perpetual smile spread even more widely into a grin as he remained rooted to the ground unflinchingly. It fell to Shigure to stop her blow just short of the boy, lest she accidentally break her oath as a Katsujinken.

"Ahem," Akisame cleared his throat authoritatively. Shigure narrowed her eyes at Kumagawa and resumed her calm, seated position, quietly whispering 'pervert' as she did, and taking care to angle her body such that Kumagawa couldn't see her loincloth anymore. He sighed in disappointment at that action and sat back up properly. "Kumagawa-kun, if you're just here to look at the underwear of one of the masters, we're going to have to ask you to leave."

"[Sorry, sorry,]" Kumagawa apologized, though Kenichi had a feeling that, no, Kumagawa wasn't sorry in the least. "[I couldn't help myself. Loincloths are just so rare nowadays, and I don't know why. They're sexy and functional!]"

"That's for sure," Kensei nodded in agreement quietly.

"They are... functional," Shigure admitted grudgingly.

"Nevertheless," Akisame said patiently, "what is your purpose here at Ryouzanpaku?"

"Hm... I guess you could say I'm here to do a dojo challenge,]" Kumagawa explained cheerfully.

For a moment, the entire dojo was silent. Then they burst out into uproarious laughter. Not even Shigure and Akisame, the most reserved and most restrained masters respectively, could keep themselves from bursting in laughter. Miu and Kenichi had also joined in on the merriment. Kumagawa watched the display with the same smile he had worn since he entered the dojo.

"Kumagawa-san," Kenichi said as he put a hand on the boy's shoulder, "Don't take this the wrong way, but you're not strong enough to fight them."

"[Don't laugh at another person's serious statement. It's rude,]" Kumagawa said, his smile finally slipping away into a somewhat angry frown.

Suddenly, Kenichi's internal danger alarms was screaming so loudly, he was positive that it was audible to the others as well. He had forgotten in the midst of the laughter as a result of Kumagawa's preposterous statement about the darkness he had been feeling from the boy. As such, his reaction was delayed, even as the others screamed out in warning, as Kumagawa pierced his body with a giant metal screw.

"Huh?" was all Kenichi could utter before he felt the screw crush his liver, the middle vertebrae of his spine, a lung, and a portion of his diaphragm, and then darkness took his sight.

"What the fuck!?" Sasaki shouted in rage as he crushed the beer can he was drinking.

But faster than even Sasaki could react, Miu had sprung into action.

"How dare you do that to Kenichi-san!?" Miu screamed as she slammed a powerful leg directly into Kumagawa's head. There was an odd crunching sound of breaking bones as Kumagawa found himself sent flying back by almost a dozen yards.

"Shit! How is he, Akisame!?" Sasaki demanded.

"It's no good," Akisame said in a clinically detached voice. Speaking in such a way was necessary for the jiujitsu master, for any other way would have surely been rendered incoherent by the absolute rage that possessed the man, as evident by the furious look on his face. "He's dead."

"No! Dammit, no!" Sasaki swore. "Kensei, don't you have some kinda weird Chinese medicine to bring him back?"

From across Akisame, on the other side of Kenichi, the Chinese man, trembling in rage as he was, simply shook his head. He, unlike his comrade, was not capable of detaching himself from his emotions sufficiently enough to speak coherently given the circumstances.

"Why!?" Miu screamed, tears streaming down her cheeks and eyes flashing with rage as she pummeled away on Kumagawa from the mounted position she had over him. "Why did you kill Kenichi-san!?"

"[Ah, this reminds me of Medaka-chan. It's like you're also using her War God mode. In fact, in a pure martial arts fight, you might be better than her,]" Kumagawa said between blows in an oddly slurred voice, a result, no doubt, of his now thoroughly shattered jaw. Despite the punishing punches and his broken jaw, his lips were still twisted into a semblance of a smile. "[But it's no good. You're not good enough to defeat Anshinin'san.]"

"What the hell are you saying?" Miu demanded. "Just tell me why you killed Kenichi-san! Are you with Yomi!?"

"[Yomi? What's that? It's not my fault,]" Kumagawa said. "[You guys provoked me.]"

"You killed Kenichi-san because we laughed!?" Miu screamed incredulously, so much so that for a brief moment, she paused in her attacks.

And in that moment, Kumagawa struck. In a flash, the two had changed positions. Miu suddenly found herself pinned to the ground by screws bolting her hands and feet to the ground. Kumagawa, on the other hand, was standing, body and clothes both fully restored as if he had never been attacked in the first place. Despite her raging Dou ki, Miu couldn't help but wonder how he had done that. She knew for certain that she had beaten Kumagawa to the point where most normal people would have difficulties living a normal life for the rest of their life. The sweat trickling down her face and her heaving chest was proof of that.

"[Really,]" Kumagawa continued with a wicked grin, "[if you guys just accepted my dojo challenge, this wouldn't have happened. So it's not my fault. It's not my fault. I love it when it's not my fault. How does it feel to have it be your fault?]"

"You want a dojo challenge? Fine! Then here you go!" Sasaki slammed a powerful fist into Kumagawa's side, sending him hurtling towards the wall of the dojo, and was only stopped from hitting it by Apachai's own devastating kick that sent him cannonballing towards the opposite end.

In a sick game of human pinball, the masters each took turns sending the murderous boy flying around the room. With each pass, the boy became more and more physically broken, and at some point, Miu began wondering if Kumagawa would die. She hoped so. To have killed Kenichi for no other reason than because they had laughed at his ludicrous statement was simply evil.

"Are you still alive?" Hayato growled as he snatched Kumagawa out of the air and slammed him to the floor. His body was bent and broken in more ways than Miu could count and he was bleeding from an innumerable amount of wounds. "Good. Then hear me now, we are going to continue to beat you to an inch of your life. Then we will hand you over to the cops."

Kumagawa smiled. "[Beat me to an inch of my life?]"

Miu blinked, and when she next opened her eyes, she found Kumagawa's body once more completely healed and unbroken. Seeing such a phenomenon once could have been brushed off as perhaps a testament to some unknown skill of Kumagawa in being able to receive damage expertly or simply being extremely durable despite his physique. But seeing it twice? And after being beaten by six of the greatest martial artists in the world? Something was definitely wrong. Even the masters could feel it, causing them to instinctively step back.

"[That's no good,]" Kumagawa said in a lecturing tone akin to that of a mother admonishing her child. "[You should at least be prepared to do something like this.]"

Without warning, another giant screw appeared in Kumagawa's hands, and then he used it to pierce his own skull cleanly through, causing blood, broken pieces of skull, and bits of gray matter splattered all over the side of his face, his shoulder, and the floor.. Everyone looked on with horror and disgust at the sudden suicide. And then with disbelief when he began talking as if nothing had ever happened.

"[At least that much,]" Kumagawa said. Then he sighed disappointingly. "[Still, that's enough. You guys are pretty strong Abnormals, but not good enough to beat Anshin'in-san. I'm done here.]"

"Done?" Sasaki said incredulously. "You kill our disciple and you think we'll just let you go?"

"[Like I said, that's not my fault,]" Kumagawa said innocently. "[But if that's what you're so angry about...]"

Kumagawa walked over to Kenichi's corpse and began moving to put his hand on Kenichi's head.

"No!" Akisame shouted venomously. "You will not desecrate our disciple's corpse!"

In an instant, Akisame had eliminated the distance between the two and grabbed Kumagawa by the back of his collar and ripped him away from Kenichi.

"... Ugh... Akisame-sensei?"

Everyone froze and slowly turned their heads to face the source of the voice: Kenichi.

"What... what happened?" Kenichi said as he slowly rose to his feet. Where there had once been a giant screw in his body, there was none. Neither was there a gaping hole like there should have been if the screw had simply been removed.

"K-Kenichi-san!" Miu cried out from where she remained pinned on the ground. "You're alive!"

"Huh?" Kenichi looked at Miu with a confused expression. Then his expression turned angry upon seeing her predicament. "Miu-san! Are you okay? Who did that to you!"

"Never mind this," Miu said almost dismissively. "How are you alive? Kumagawa killed you!"

"What?" Kenichi blinked in surprise for a moment. Then his expression darkened. "Oh yeah, now I remember. He stabbed me with a giant screw!"

"I find myself curious as well," Akisame said, still holding Kumagawa by the back of his collar. The anger had mostly dissipated from his voice, though not completely, and had been replaced by a sort of clinical curiosity. "Kenichi was dead. I checked it myself. How is it that you brought him back to life without so much as touching him?"

"[It's nothing much,]" Kumagawa shrugged with an annoyed sigh, as if this had become something very bothersome for him. "[Making reality into nothing. That is my Minus, All-Fiction. I just made the reality that I killed... um... what was your name again? Oh right, Kenichi. I made the reality that I killed Kenichi into nothing.]

"Impossible!" Akisame declared immediately. "That's something out of fiction!"

"[Oh? But I like to think we live in a manga-like world, you know,]" Kumagawa said with an eerie smile. Then he added darkly, "[Now if you'll release me before I make the reality that you exist into nothing, then I'll just be on my way.]"

Despite his earlier claim of not believing in Kumagawa's powers, Akisame immediately released Kumagawa and backed off. Brushing off his clothes, Kumagawa calmly began walking out of the dojo, pausing only long enough to use his All-Fiction on Miu, releasing her from the screws and healing her of her injuries. No, that wasn't correct. He simply made it so that the injuries never happened.

And then he left, but unlike the wounds and death that ran rampant that day, he did not leave as if he had never been there. In the hearts of all those of Ryouzanpaku, he had left a swirling feeling of horror and disgust.


	2. Chapter 2 - Kumagawa, Familiar of Zero

"Kumagawa! You need to stop this!" Louise said. "Just apologize to Guiche and he'll still let you go without being hurt!"

Kumagawa looked at Louise and tilted his head in a quizzical fashion, ever smiling in the same eerie way he always did. About 10 feet away from him, in the clearing of the Vestri Courtyard, Guiche watched with an amused expression. "[Why? It's not my fault.]"

"He's a noble," Louise sighed. "And you're just a commoner. Who's at fault is irrelevant here. The fact of the matter is that you can't win this fight and you're just going to get hurt. You might even die."

"[Ooooh,]" Kumagawa said with a childishly innocent expression of understanding. "[That's okay. We Minuses have always lived and fought under those circumstances.]" Kumagawa turned to look at Guiche and for the first time, his eerie smiling expression slipped into something slightly akin to an angry glare. "[Besides. I hate the elites.]"

"You know what?" Louise sighed with frustration. "Do whatever you want, you stupid familiar."

"[Being insulted is also something familiar for us Minuses,]" Kumagawa noted, his face once more transformed into that eerie smile.

Louise couldn't help but wonder for a moment what in the world her familiar was talking about as she rejoined the crowd that had formed to watch the duel between Kumagawa, her familiar, and Guiche, the infamous womanizer of the Academy. What in the world was a 'Minus?'

"So it seems you have decided not to apologize," Guiche called out from across the space.

"[Nope!]" Kumagawa said cheerfully. "[By the way, whose panties did you like more? Montmorency's or Katie's?]"

"Definitely Katie's," Guiche answered automatically in an enthused voice. "Montmorency's are nice, but too conservative. Katie had much more daring ones." The blond noble's eyes widened as he realized what he just said. He glanced fearfully at the audience where Montmorency was glaring at him with eyes colder than the coldest ice. Guiche quickly looked back at Kumagawa and his expression darkened. "How dare you make me say all of that?"

"[Eh?]" Kumagawa cocked his head and put a finger to his temple as if he was contemplating something. "[What do you mean? I didn't make you say anything. You said that on your own. It's not my fault.]"

"Enough of this foolishness," Guiche spat. "We begin!"

Guiche waved his wand, modified to look like an artificial rose, causing a single petal to drop to the ground. When it touched the earth, a bronze golem in the shape of a female warrior with decorated armor and a sword appeared. Louise couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief when he summoned only one golem. Despite everything Guiche had said, it appeared he planned to take it easy on Kumagawa, which meant that the likelihood of her still having a living familiar after this inane duel had just increased.

"My name is Guiche the Bronze," Guiche declared. "As such, this bronze Valkyrie shall be your opponent."

"[I am Kumagawa the, um... Kumagawa!]" Kumagawa declared proudly. "[Anyway, in manga, I should be the one to make the first move, right? So here it goes!]"

Kumagawa charged forward bravely, or stupidly, depending on the point of view, towards Guiche. Predictably, the Valkyrie stepped in his way and sent Kumagawa flying back several feet with a single punch to Kumagawa's ribs. Even from where she stood, Louise could hear the sickening crunch of bones breaking, causing Kumagawa to cough up blood as he fell.

"[I think you broke around five ribs just now,]" Kumagawa noted as he stood up, not with anger or calm or even clinical dispassion, but with a jovial tone. "[Let's try again.]"

Once more, Kumagawa charged forward blindly. Once more, he was sent flying back by the Valkyrie's punch. This time, however, he had managed to raise an arm to guard himself, and as a result, the arm was snapped in two, bending at a hideous angle.

"[Oh, there goes my right arm,]" Kumagawa said as he looked at his broken limb. "[Well, like they say. Third time's the charm, right?]"

Again and again Kumagawa charged forward to close the distance gap between him and Guiche, but each time he was sent flying back by the Valkyrie guardian, breaking another part of Kumagawa's body in the process. Yet, despite the fact that normally this kind of scene was something that would have excited the nobles here, no one here was excited. A sickening atmosphere was slowly taking hold in the air and its source was Kumagawa. The way he stood back up should have been almost inspiring or at the very least commendable for its bravery or stupidity. Yet it wasn't anything like that. It was simply _wrong._ Even Guiche was looking unnerved.

"[I think my collarbone is broken now. It must have pierced my lungs now,]" Kumagawa said as he stood up in a completely unnatural way. From where he was lying on the ground, he bent his legs to put his feet beneath him, and then slowly stood up, legs first. When his legs were nearly perpendicular with the ground, his back was bent backwards as if his spine was snapped, almost parallel to the ground, and his arms were moving as if they had a mind of their own. "[This will cause aftereffects for the rest of my life, I think.]"

"Enough!" Louise finally cried out. "Just stop this, Kumagawa, Guiche!"

"Um... Yeah," Guiche agreed nervously. "I think this is enough. Let's end this here."

"[What are you two saying?]" Kumagawa said in a slurred voice, his jaw having been broken earlier. "[This fight isn't over.]"

"Look at yourself!" Louise said. "You can't possibly fight anymore!"

Kumagawa cocked his head and looked down at his body. Both arms were broken and snapped into an angle human limbs were not meant to bend into, one leg was crushed, his clothes were torn, ripped, and shredded, revealing the caved in structure of his torso, indicators of his now thoroughly crushed ribcage. His collarbone, too, was broken, and, as Kumagawa himself said earlier, appeared to have pierced his lungs, judging by the way blood was dribbling steadily out of his mouth.

"[Oh, is that all?]" Kumagawa said dismissively. "[Then it should be fine if I just make all my injuries into nothing, right?]"

"What are you talking about?" Louise said exasperatedly. Then, when she blinked and opened her eyes again, she let out an involuntary cry of surprise. And she wasn't the only one. Everyone around her had gasped in surprise. Where there had once been a thoroughly physically broken man, there was now Kumagawa in his normal, healthy state. No bones were broken, no blood was leaking, nothing.

"How did you do that?" Guiche demanded in confusion.

"[I just made the reality that you hurt me into nothing with my Minus, All-Fiction,]" Kumagawa explained.

"What are you talking about?" Guiche demanded.

Louise found herself nodding with Guiche. Making the reality of him being hurt into nothing? What did that even mean?

"[Hmm...]" Kumagawa tapped his chin thoughtfully. "[Maybe it'll be easier to just show you?]"

Once more, Louise found herself gasping in concert with all those watching as a giant metal screw suddenly appeared in Kumagawa's hands. But this time, it was out of horror, for without warning, Kumagawa took the screw and pierced his own head with it so that the tip was showing visibly on the other end. The ensuing torrent of blood and skull pieces and bits of grey matter were met by cries of horror and disgust amongst the nobles. A few of them even vomited from the scene, and Louise found herself nearly joining them.

Yet, instead of dying as he should have, Kumagawa simply stood there with the same eerie smile. He snapped his fingers, and then the screw, the blood, the skull pieces, and the grey matter suddenly disappeared. Furthermore, where there should have been a gaping, bloody hole in Kumagawa's head, there was none.

"[See?]" Kumagawa said. "[I made the reality that I stabbed myself in the head into nothing.]"

Suddenly, Louise found herself fearful of the commoner she had summoned and began questioning Kumagawa's very nature. Was he even human?

"[Now that that's cleared up, let's continue our fight!]" Kumagawa said as two of the same giant metal screws appeared in each of his hands.

This time, when Kumagawa charged forth, it was with an almost unnatural speed, and he wielded those screws of his as if he had been born with them. In an instant, the Valkyrie was pinned to the ground, Kumagawa's screws bolting it through its torso and chest.

"[You know, you've been using your magic to fight me this entire time,]" Kumagawa said disappointingly from where he stood over Guiche's golem. The familiar took an exaggerated fighting stance that even Louise, with her lack of knowledge or experience in physical combat, knew was clearly wrong. "[Come on! A fight should be man to man, hand to hand, mano-a-mano.]"

"A noble never lowers himself to fight hand to hand," Guiche said with a sneer as he waved his wand again. However, nothing happened. Not even a petal fell to the ground. Guiche frowned as he tried waving it once more. Nothing happened. Suddenly, a horrible, sickening feeling rose up from the pit of Louise's guts.

"[That won't work anymore,]" Kumagawa said with a smile. "[Since you seemed so set on fighting me with magic, without even putting yourself in harms way, I used All-Fiction to make the reality that you can use magic, into _nothing._]"

Guiche's eyes went wide at Kumagawa's words, before he frantically, desperately began waving his wand again. Louise felt bile trying to claw its way out of her through her mouth. Around her, the nobles were doing one of three things: remaining silent with jaws hanging open and wide-eyed with disbelief, vomiting in disgust, or screaming in complete terror. Guiche had sunk to the ground with a completely blank expression on his face, his terror having reached the point where he could do nothing else.

"[But you know,]" Kumagawa said as he walked up to Guiche and bent over to peer at his face. "[I could make even the reality that I made your magic into nothing, into nothing.]"

That brought Guiche back to his senses as he whirled to face Kumagawa. "Do it!"

"[Well, if you kneel and apologize, I'll consider it,]" Kumagawa said with a smile.

Suddenly, Louise realized that Kumagawa's smile was not one of friendliness or perpetual cheeriness. It never had been. It was a lie, a mask, something he wore like a person wore clothes. And it both disgusted and frightened her.

Guiche immediately turned his body to face Kumagawa and prostrated himself so low that his forehead was touching the ground. "Please! I beg you! I apologize for everything I've done, and I yield this duel too! So please give me back my magic!"

Kumagawa considered Guiche for a moment, his smile slipping and faltering for a moment as he did so. Then he smiled once more and put a hand on Guiche's shoulder. "[You can stand up.]"

Guiche stood up and looked at Kumagawa with a hopeful look. An expression that was completely, thoroughly crushed when Kumagawa said just loudly enough for everyone to hear, "[I lied.]"

"W-what?" Guiche said, his face once more returning to a horrified expression.

"[I can't undo the things I've already done,]" Kumagawa grinned broadly. "[Your magic is gone forever. I just wanted to see you throw away your noble's pride by kneeling and begging to a commoner.]

"N-n-n... NOOOOO!" Guiche screamed as he fell to the ground writhing as he clutched his head with one hand and waved his wand frantically with the other. "Valkyries! Transmutate! Something! Anything!"

"[It's useless,]" Kumagawa said with the gleeful look of a sadistic child watching a small animal in its death throes. "[Your magic is gone. No, it never even existed, and nothing you or I or anyone can do will ever bring it back. Have fun living as a commoner from now on.]"

Later that night, Louise learned that Guiche had killed himself by jumping off of the highest tower of the Academy.


	3. Chapter 3 - Kumagawa and Fate Stay Night

Rin Tohsaka grimaced as she casually looked outside the window of her classroom. Quietly, so that no one could hear even if the class was dead silent, she whispered, "Archer. Have you found them yet?"

From beside her, an equally quiet disembodied voice replied, "Not yet."

Rin 'tsked' and absentmindedly flipped a page in the notebook before her, even though class had yet to start. Impatience was a foolish thing to fall prey to, but even so, she could not help but feel it gnawing away at her from the inside.

The fact that she was currently living a facade of a normal life whilst actually in a deadly war was enough to set her nerves on edge. But despite that, with the skill of long practice of self-control, Rin forced herself to take deep breaths and calm down.

The classroom door nearly crashed open as a flurry of movement did crash into the room. Or rather, into the floor directly behind the teacher's podium. There was only one person who could be so boisterous and clumsy this early in the morning: Ms. Fujimura, the homeroom teacher.

"Owie," Fujimura moaned in pain as she stood up and rubbed her head.

"Taiga! You need to be more careful!" one of the students called out in jest.

"Yeah, Taiga!"

"Be more careful, Taiga!"

"I told you guys to stop calling me Taiga!" Fujimura roared in a manner very much like a tiger, her nickname's namesake. She froze for a moment as if she realized how she was behaving, and then coughed to clear her throat in an authoritative manner as she took a more professional stance. "Anyways, we have a new student that just transferred in from Suisou Academy!"

Rin frowned and glanced up, mildly interested now. Suisou Academy was once famous as one of the most prestigious schools in all of Japan. Now, however, they were famous in a different way. One month ago, the school was forced to close down after a mysterious incident turned the entire school to rubble. Despite it having been a month, there has still been no news about what exactly happened to destroy the school.

"Kumagawa-kun, come in and introduce yourself," Fujimura said excitedly.

A smiling boy with black hair and wearing the black uniform with white trimmings around the collar of Suisou Academy strode into the classroom and stood at the front of the room and faced the rest of the class confidently.

"[I'm Kumagawa Misogi,]" the boy introduced himself. "[I transferred in from Weekly Shounen Jump. Let's all try to get along!]"

Was that supposed to be a joke, Rin wondered. The other students were glancing at each other as if unsure whether or not to laugh. Kumagawa simply kept on smiling at the class in an eerily serene manner. Finally, Fujimura spoke up.

"Um... Anyway, Kumagawa-kun," Fujimura said. "Why don't you go sit by Rin Tohsaka over there?"

"[Okay!]" Kumagawa said cheerfully as he walked over to the empty desk beside Rin's and sat down. Immediately, he pulled out a manga from underneath his jacket and began reading.

Rin sighed as she glanced obliquely at Kumagawa. It appeared that this boy was simply another lackluster underachiever. Even once Fujimura began her lessons proper, Kumagawa continued to peacefully read his manga, his face still plastered by that strange smile of his.

Well, whatever. She did not have time to worry about someone like him. Tonight would be her first real fight in the Holy Grail War. She had to be ready.

**-SCENE BREAK-**

"He's here."

Rin raised her head and nodded as she stood up to face beyond the school building's roof that she had been resting on as she awaited battle. Beside her, invisible to all, was her Servant: Archer.

"What an immense bloodlust," Rin grimaced as she felt the bloodthirst hit her like a physical force.

"Hey there."

Rin quickly looked upward to see a tall, lithe man balancing himself precariously on the fence meant to keep anyone from accidentally falling off the roof.

"Beautiful night, isn't it?" the man said in a conversational tone. "That's what the man beside you is thinking as well, isn't he?"

"He can see Archer?" Rin muttered to herself. "He must be a Servant as well."

"That's right," the man agreed. "And since you know that," here his eyes flashed wildly, "that must mean you're my enemy!"

The man's eyes went wild as the prospect of battle lit a fire within him. He made a horizontal grasping motion with one hand, calling forth a blood red spear to suddenly appear in his grip. A Lancer class, then, Rin thought even as she immediately began dashing towards the opposite side of the roof.

Lancer jumped high into the air as he prepared to skewer her from above. Without a hint of fear or desperation in her voice, Rin shouted, "Archer! Take care of my landing!" and then smoothly jumped off the building.

For a time, Rin simply free fell. Then, at the last possible moment, Rin suddenly felt her fall slow as Archer caught her and landed easily. Immediately upon being let down, Rin broke out into a run.

"His weapon is a lance," Rin said. "We need to move to a more advantageous location for us."

A blur appeared before her, and even before her eyes were able to focus in on what the blur was, Rin had already stopped her run and jumped back a few feet. Fast. Though Rin knew that Lancers were typically hailed as the most agile class, the sheer speed of this Lancer still took her by surprise.

"Archer!" Rin called out.

The white haired and dark skinned Servant dressed in mostly red materialized in front of her.

"Oh? You're finally in the mood to fight?" Lancer said almost mockingly. "Then die!"

Lancer charged forward with blinding speed. But as fast as he was, Archer was able to react in time. From out of no where, twin swords appeared in his hands. They were long and curved, made obviously for slashing. And like the Chinese symbol of yin and yang, one sword was pure white and the other completely black.

With one sword, Archer diverted the path of the lance away from his body while rotating along his axis. Simultaneously, he launched a counterattack by lashing outward with his other sword. Lancer shifted the grip on his lance in order to block the attack before jumping back and disengaging.

"An Archer that pretends to be a swordsman?" Lancer commented curiously. "How unusual."

Archer in response simply smiled arrogantly at him. This time, Archer was the one to go on the assault. Rin watched as her Servant lunged forward, twin blades flashing, forcing Lancer to defend against the expert assault. It was almost awe inspiring to watch. Lancer was by far the superior in terms of sheer speed and agility, but what Archer lacked in those, he made up for with total economy of movement. Every step he took, every attack that he made, and even every shift of his body was one of complete and total efficiency. By not having a single wasted movement, Archer was able to keep up with the swift Lancer.

_Clap! Clap! Clap!_

The fighting immediately ceased as Rin, Archer, and Lancer all whirled around to the source of the noise. Rin's eyes widened as she saw Kumagawa approach them, clapping his hands enthusiastically and with a broad grin plastered over his face.

"[Amazing!]" Kumagawa cried out. "[Since when did the world become a battle manga?]"

"A witness," Lancer hissed angrily. He broke off from Archer and lunged for Kumagawa.

"No! Run away, Kumagawa!" Rin screamed. She knew that the Holy Grail War was to remain an absolute secret from those uninvolved in it, and that those who did somehow learn of it were supposed to be killed immediately, no matter what the current situation, but dammit, he was still her classmate! She had no intention of allowing her classmate to die! "Archer!"

Unfortunately, despite her order, Archer didn't move. Or rather, he simply couldn't move, not in time to save the unfortunate transfer student. In a situation like this, in a contest of pure speed, efficient movements would not help him, especially when Lancer had a headstart. Thus, Rin could only watch helplessly as Lancer skewered Kumagawa straight through the heart and out the other side of his body. Kumagawa coughed up blood as he slumped forward, dead, held up only by the fact that Lancer still had him skewered.

"You have only your own bad luck to blame, kid," Lancer said without a hint of regret as he pulled his lance free, causing Kumagawa to collapse to the ground in a heap. "All witnesses to the War must be removed."

_Shit! _Rin closed her eyes and turned away, cursing herself for not taking better precautions in making sure the school was empty before fighting.

"Now that the distraction is removed," Lancer turned back to Rin and Archer, "let us continue our battle."

"[Ha ha ha ha.]"

Rin's eyes snapped open as she whipped her gaze back towards Kumagawa, as did Lancer himself. Where there should have been only a corpse, now a living human being was standing there.

"What in the world?" Lancer breathed as Kumagawa came back to life. "You should be dead!"

"[It was a good attack,]" Kumagawa said. "[But if you wanted to kill me, you should have done at least something like this.]"

Suddenly, in Kumagawa's hands, a giant metal screw appeared out of thin air. Rin's eyes widened as she bore witness to Kumagawa taking that screw and impaling himself straight through his skull. For a brief moment, Kumagawa's eyes rolled around in their sockets before refocusing. With the sides of his head now dripping with bits of skull, brain, and blood, he began speaking once more.

"[Well, something like that,]" Kumagawa nodded sagely.

"Monster!" Lancer hissed as he pulled his lance out of Kumagawa and jumped back. "What the hell are you?"

"[I'm Kumagawa Misogi,]" Kumagawa introduced himself cheerfully. "[A Minus.]"

A Minus? Rin frowned. She had never heard that term being used to describe a person before.

"[And you know,]" Kumagawa continued speaking, his tone becoming considerably less cheerful, becoming more dark and sinister, a change that caused an eerie dissonance with the still smiling expression on his face. "[You said something good earlier. That I have only my bad luck to blame. In other words, what you mean to say is that this isn't my fault. So, since it's not my fault, it should be fine if I kill you, right?]"

Saying that, Kumagawa produced two more giant screws in his hands, even as the one in his head disappeared and the hole left behind healed without a trace. Did the transfer student have some kind of regeneration and matter creation ability? Rin wondered. No. Though it was similar, there seemed to be something distinctly different about Kumagawa.

Kumagawa charged forward with impressive speed, but Lancer was his superior by far. He vanished from Rin's eyes and then suddenly reappeared behind Kumagawa, impaling him through his guts and staking him into the ground.

Once more, the transfer student coughed up blood, but he swung blindly behind him with one arm and screw. Lancer caught that arm and then easily snapped it at the elbow, causing it to bend 90 degrees in the opposite direction human arms were supposed to bend. Without even a cry of pain, Kumagawa swung his other arm. Lancer repeated his action and broke that arm as well.

"[You're so mean,]" Kumagawa complained as he struggled helplessly like a fish on ground. "[This is awfully painful, you know.]"

"Shut up," Lancer said as he summoned another lance into his hands and stepped around to Kumagawa's side. "And die."

With a single downward stroke, Lancer brought the blade of his new lance down on Kumagawa's neck, decapitating him cleanly.

"Finally," Lancer muttered with an annoyed expression. "Even if he can regenerate wounds, it's impossible for him to survive that."

Rin grimaced at Lancer's words. He was right. Except for those with literally godlike powers, there was no way anyone could have recovered from a decapitation. Or at least, that's what Rin had thought until she saw Kumagawa pull the lance staking him out of the ground and freed himself.

"Impossible!" Lancer cried out as Kumagawa, with his head definitely still attached to his body, pulled out the lance from his body. "How the hell did you do that?"

"[Should I tell you?]" Kumagawa said teasingly, the wounds on his bodies already disappearing. "[Hm. Well, okay. I'll tell you. I simply made the reality that you killed me into nothing.]"

"What are you talking about?" Lancer demanded.

"[That is the power of my Minus, All-Fiction,]" Kumagawa explained. "[I can make reality into nothing.]"

Rin's eyes widened once more. If Kumagawa was telling the truth, that meant he could quite literally spit upon the law of causality. But could such an impossible ability really exist?

"[And you know what?]" Kumagawa pouted. "[Calling me a monster earlier was mean. But I'm used to being insulted. If you apologize here and now, I will forgive you and allow you to go free.]"

"You dare to give me orders?" Lancer snarled. "Die!"

Lancer lunged forward and thrust his spear in order to impale Kumagawa. However, faster than even Lancer had been, Kumagawa suddenly appeared on the other side of Lancer, who was now skewered into the ground by a giant screw in a manner very reminiscent of how Kumagawa himself had been skewered into the ground by Lancer's lance just a moment before.

Rin gawked. There was no way that Kumagawa could have moved that fast, right? No... In terms of speed, Lancer was still the superior by far. In fact, even Archer had superior speed to Kumagawa. That's right, it wasn't that he simply moved _fast, _though he was incredibly swift, it was simply as if no one had noticed him even move. Though she wasn't quite sure of the extent of the power of Kumagawa's All-Fiction, it felt like this was not part of its powers. Instead, it was more like he somehow took advantage of the mental and physical blind spots to give the illusion of instantaneous movement.

Whatever the truth of the matter was, the fact was that he, a human, had just defeated a Servant.

"Y-you bastard..." Lancer groaned painfully. "I swear I'll kill you for this humiliation."

Kumagawa simply smiled at Lancer and waved a hand over him. Without a trace, the screw and Lancer's injuries both vanished. Lancer stared at Kumagawa in shock as he did so.

"What are you doing?" Rin couldn't help but call out. "He tried to kill you!"

"[I know,]" Kumagawa said cheerfully. "[It's so touching that someone cares enough about me that they promised to kill me.]"

As if to emphasize his point, Kumagawa sniffed tearfully as a trickle of tears fell from his eyes. Rin gawked at Kumagawa. This boy made no sense at all! Likewise, Lancer was gawking at Kumagawa. Then, he narrowed his eyes and then the Servant vanished without a trace.


End file.
